Today is supposedly the day the baby is due. A due date, like returning library books, only there is no fine if baby is late, which I am presuming will be the case.
I've been thinking a lot of exposure of kids on the various platforms (FB, IG, vine, blogs, etc etc) and wondering how much I will actually comfortable with when it comes to my own kid. I don't see myself ever posting pictures of bare bottoms or sitting on the potty or prancing around in a diaper. I've watched far too much SVU to ever be comfortable with that. I am, by my nature, a bit of an exhibitionist, which is a funny contrast with the introverted part of my personality. If you were to meet me in person, it might take me a long time to open up to you. Probably I wouldn't like you right away. Or you wouldn't like me. I am, after all, kind of a bitch. At the same time, if I feel comfortable with you right off the bat, I will have no problem telling you all sorts of things about me that you probably don't even want to know. Especially if I have a little bourbon in me.
While I may comfortable posting tons of pictures on IG of my face or my feet or my cat or whatever, I don't know think it would be fair of me to do the same with pictures of my baby. I mean, I am sure I won't be able to resist the urge, but I am going to keep in check. I am going to think of my future 8 yr old, 10 yr old, 14 yr old, who may hate me for what I posted on the internet. There are so many ways that parents can embarrass their kids, without involving the internet, so I am going to have to remind myself that I won't want my teenager hating me anymore than the usual amount that teenagers hate their parents.
I am rambling. I am bored. I am going to watch Fringe all day and wait for this baby to show up.
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
The Waiting Game.
This is where we are at: making no plans, keeping the apartment clean, bags in the car.... just waiting for this baby to show up.
There haven't been too many signs of the arrival, but the doc seemed optimistic at our appointment on friday that baby would make an appearance soon. I'd really like for the tiny human to be early, or at least on time, because I just can't stand when people are late. As Trever puts it, we will really see whose baby this is, based on an early or late arrival. (case in point: he will be late for work today. Why? Cause Kiki MADE him sit on the couch for twenty minutes and pet her. I know she is hard to say no to, but really?)
SO. That's about it. I am in this limbo, waiting until my life is no longer my own. I am worried about money. I am a little, or a lot, nervous about the actual act of giving birth. I hope Kiki isn't too mad at me when I come home from the hospital with a baby. I hope breast feeding will be easy for us. I still need to get a breast pump. It's easy to get caught up in my own head right now.
Luckily I have some projects to keep me busy the next few days (my grammy would be ashamed at how long it's taking me to send out thank you cards) and some crappy tv shows to watch, plus I will need to smother Kiki with love to the point where she is sick of me.
Wish me luck.
There haven't been too many signs of the arrival, but the doc seemed optimistic at our appointment on friday that baby would make an appearance soon. I'd really like for the tiny human to be early, or at least on time, because I just can't stand when people are late. As Trever puts it, we will really see whose baby this is, based on an early or late arrival. (case in point: he will be late for work today. Why? Cause Kiki MADE him sit on the couch for twenty minutes and pet her. I know she is hard to say no to, but really?)
SO. That's about it. I am in this limbo, waiting until my life is no longer my own. I am worried about money. I am a little, or a lot, nervous about the actual act of giving birth. I hope Kiki isn't too mad at me when I come home from the hospital with a baby. I hope breast feeding will be easy for us. I still need to get a breast pump. It's easy to get caught up in my own head right now.
Luckily I have some projects to keep me busy the next few days (my grammy would be ashamed at how long it's taking me to send out thank you cards) and some crappy tv shows to watch, plus I will need to smother Kiki with love to the point where she is sick of me.
Wish me luck.
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Oh, hey there.
Much time has passed. I am nearly 38 weeks pregnant. I have stopped working. I have a new (used) Volvo with a baby seat in it. Kiki's back legs are getting weak. Life is moving.
I am flooded with all the feelings I can feel. Everything makes me cry. I am ready to not be pregnant. But will I miss feeling a foot kick me in the ribs? Maybe, though I look forward to being able to roll over in bed without it feeling like an impossible task. Or you know, to put my shoes on. (I hate wearing flip flops, truly.) I worry about money constantly. I am not reading parenting books. I left my anxiety attacks behind a long time ago and I can only imagine how easy it could be to bring them right back, by questioning every move I make. It's enough that I have to read every review on a pair of baby nail clippers and then still not be able to choose a pair. The last thing I need to is to have to weigh every decision based on different experts' opinions of what is right for my baby, a baby that they do not know. That I don't even know yet.
"We will just have to wait and see" pops up in my head a lot these days. I guess that's okay, though. I've never been a type A sort of gal, I'm not going to become one now, that's for sure. I just need to remember that I can trust my instincts, and that I will know what is right when our little human is in my arms.
I am just still finding hard to believe that in a couple weeks we will have an actual baby in our apartment.
I am also finding it hard to believe that in a couple weeks I will be pushing a baby out of my vagina. Still trying to wrap my head around that one....
Kiki is starting to adjust to me being home. My last day of work was this past thursday, so today was really the first day where I've been home with, since the weekend was busy and we were gone all day yesterday dealing with car stuff. She sleeps so much during the day, but I can tell that when she opens her eyes and sees me, she is happy I am there... especially now, as she is having difficulty jumping up onto the bed and the couch. Trever will soon be building her a ramp to get up onto the bed. That will be fun, as our tiny room is already jammed packed and currently housing a bassinet, but we will do what we have to for our Kiki, as she is the original baby, after all.
With all of my feelings and doubts and emotions, I do know a few things: We are lucky to have our friends & family. Our baby is going to have an awesome dad.... and I can not wait to drink a huge bloody Mary (or two.)
I am flooded with all the feelings I can feel. Everything makes me cry. I am ready to not be pregnant. But will I miss feeling a foot kick me in the ribs? Maybe, though I look forward to being able to roll over in bed without it feeling like an impossible task. Or you know, to put my shoes on. (I hate wearing flip flops, truly.) I worry about money constantly. I am not reading parenting books. I left my anxiety attacks behind a long time ago and I can only imagine how easy it could be to bring them right back, by questioning every move I make. It's enough that I have to read every review on a pair of baby nail clippers and then still not be able to choose a pair. The last thing I need to is to have to weigh every decision based on different experts' opinions of what is right for my baby, a baby that they do not know. That I don't even know yet.
"We will just have to wait and see" pops up in my head a lot these days. I guess that's okay, though. I've never been a type A sort of gal, I'm not going to become one now, that's for sure. I just need to remember that I can trust my instincts, and that I will know what is right when our little human is in my arms.
I am just still finding hard to believe that in a couple weeks we will have an actual baby in our apartment.
I am also finding it hard to believe that in a couple weeks I will be pushing a baby out of my vagina. Still trying to wrap my head around that one....
Kiki is starting to adjust to me being home. My last day of work was this past thursday, so today was really the first day where I've been home with, since the weekend was busy and we were gone all day yesterday dealing with car stuff. She sleeps so much during the day, but I can tell that when she opens her eyes and sees me, she is happy I am there... especially now, as she is having difficulty jumping up onto the bed and the couch. Trever will soon be building her a ramp to get up onto the bed. That will be fun, as our tiny room is already jammed packed and currently housing a bassinet, but we will do what we have to for our Kiki, as she is the original baby, after all.
With all of my feelings and doubts and emotions, I do know a few things: We are lucky to have our friends & family. Our baby is going to have an awesome dad.... and I can not wait to drink a huge bloody Mary (or two.)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)