Curved, not short.

So the most recent verdict on my cervix is just that: curved, not short. Good news, folks. This means I can resume working forty hours a week as of next week.... just when I'd gotten used to the early days and spending my afternoons with Kiki! But really, it's a good thing, in terms of money.

I spent hours last night reading about strollers. WHO AM I? I don't even know. I have no idea how/why people choose what they do. I guess I will have to go a baby store and test drive some. All of this just feels so foreign to me. I am imagining myself with carseats and strollers and breast pumps, and it's like that scene in Overboard (THE BEST MOVIE OF ALL TIME) where she is shoving the raw bird in the pot on the stove top and trying to cram it's legs in, then burns herself trying to light the burner.

Obviously I am nervous & paranoid, probably more than I need to be. I mean, I babysat my niece when she was a little baby, and it was always fine. I never had problems with diaper changes or the car seat or the stroller. So I guess I should remind myself that I don't need worry too much about those things, and allow myself instead to worry about breast feeding and the act of giving birth.

I don't feel like talking about this anymore. It's on my mind all the time and quite frankly, I am boring myself.

I am going to pet my cat and feed her rabbit treats by hand because she is the original baby.